Kindred Spirits Journal

Here is one from the other day that I just loved reading. Wanted to share!
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The Low-Maintenance Wife By Shari McMinn

We recently were at a friend’s home for dinner after church. While the children played, the adults solved all the world’s problems. Then the subject came up as to why we were homeschooling. That testimony became a discussion of why we were led to live in the middle of nowhere and adopt five children in addition to the six we bore ourselves. That testimony developed into a discussion of how we could possibly do all this. After the standard (but true) answers of "obedience to the Lord," becoming "Abraham and Sarah," and "laying everything at our Savior’s feet," my husband remarked it could be done because he had a "low-maintenance wife."Now, I say all this with humility, because I think I am a very demanding wife and mother when it comes to organizing my family, home, and our homeschool. I am quick to judge, quicker with my tongue, take on too much, am slow to get everything done I should, and am rarely pleased with my own actions, let alone those of the ones I love most. That sounds pretty high-maintenance to me. So what did this remark really mean, coming from the one who knows me better than anyone except my Creator?

Well, in mulling over his comment this week, I have come to the conclusion that my beloved husband meant I am willing to try anything as long as it involves him and obeying the Lord’s direction. Now, why is this such a big deal? Well, in a world full of career moms, wives running corporations, and girls overachieving at everything, I find very few women willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish their husband’s vision and the Lord’s will. In simplistic terms, I would like to say that we moms need to make sure we are demonstrating our ability to put our husband and the Lord first in everything we do. Next, we need to make sure we homeschool moms are training our daughters to be willing to try anything (at least once), live anywhere, function contentedly without any of the modern world’s conveniences, and give up all sense of control in order to be the perfect helpmeet for either the husband the Lord brings along in His time, or for our Lord and Savior if they remain single. Sounds simple doesn’t it? Well, let’s look closer at what this might entail.

As a single woman, then later as a working mom with two little boys, I was able to afford the time and money for my list of "essentials" to do for me: get my hair and nails done once a month, eat out five or six meals a week, buy what home accessories I wanted when I wanted, shop at the mall for clothing and home furnishings, help the needy at church without being needy myself, belong to several women’s groups, play golf occasionally, vacation at resorts annually, and pretty much run my life the way I wanted it run. I could count on many friends and close relationships with my siblings. I had a good marriage and a successful business with my husband.

I had grown up in an upper-middle class Christian family, had a college education, and had traveled the world as a student and the country for my career. My lifestyle was simply an extension of how I was raised and what was expected of someone from my background.
Well, times have changed, and the easy affluence of the baby boomer parents is not the reality of the baby boomer children. The high cost of materialistic living, immorality of school environments, crime in the city, and the threat of terrorism everywhere have put so much stress on families, marriages, and communities that it is not our parents’ lives we are living anymore. I think we as homeschooling parents understand this, even though our families, neighbors, and well-meaning Christian friends who are not home educators may not get it at all.

So it has become ironic that for all the women like me who grew up in a fairy tale life can expect to live far from a fairy tale now, nor can we pass on a fairy tale to our daughters. Even more so, our sons cannot expect it for their future wives and daughters. So, we have to be more realistic both in how we live as women and how we raise our daughters (and sons) for the Lord.

First, we have to teach our children (girls so they can, boys so they don’t expect otherwise) to be Christ-like in their serving, loving, giving, forgiving. You all knew that already. Second, we and our children need to have a strong foundation in Christian principles, then academics. You knew that, too. Third, we and our children need to be flexible and resilient. You probably already knew that as a fact of life for homeschooling families. Fourth, we and our children need to live frugally. Now, some of you already know this, because you have a lot of children and have learned to be frugal. But I challenge you who are still enjoying my list of "essentials" above (or your own version of it), to start teaching your kids to do their own nails, cut your family’s hair (and bravely letting your husband cut yours), cook every meal from scratch, consider school work on the wall "home decor," wear hand-me-downs (that includes we parents, too) eliminate most, if not all, women’s and personal activities (sports included) because of gas prices and lack of free time, consider a family trip to the State Fair your annual vacation, be willing to give up friends and family who are opposed to your new lifestyle, accept that you can help the needy at church and be needy yourselves (ie: it is okay to receive from the food bank) and give everything over to the Lord.

A friend of mine who has a frugal existence yet is always smiling often remarks "Lord willing." If I say, "See you tomorrow," she’ll say, "Lord willing." If I ask her what she is doing next week, she’ll say, "Lord willing." If there is an event to do with area homeschoolers, she’ll commit with "Lord willing." It didn't used to sink in what she was really saying – now I get it. She will only do, say, think, and plan what the Lord has her to do. This is a big challenge for me. Talk about a low-maintenance wife; she shames me!

Just think of where our country would be today if all women, underneath the wings of our Lord-serving husbands, were so low-maintenance that we would go anywhere, do anything, be anyone our husband would ask us to be, "Lord willing." And thrive without all the creature comforts that are so taken for granted. We all no doubt have missionary friends who go without electricity, cars, proper nutrition, medical care, and school materials, and do so with joy in their hearts. Can we in the day-to-day modern world consider doing the same? Even if we can financially afford these things, if we cut back and live frugally, simply, how much more time and resources can we allocate to the Lord’s work by contributing directly to what others are doing for Him, instead of spending it on ourselves? Can we demonstrate to our children that when they have their families and times are even tougher, that they can be resilient enough, tough enough, perseverant enough, simple enough to continue on the battle for Christianity that we must pass on to them as our days are numbered?

It takes a low-maintenance wife to be the best helpmeet for a high-powered man of God. If we want our husbands to rise up and do their job, how much more so must we rise up first to our calling of total submission to Christ? Are we ladies doing our job in our homes to perform this great task now? I know I am convicted by my husband’s remark to live up to his belief in me of being his low-maintenance wife. I think I’ll start the year off right by re-reading Marriage to a Difficult Man (story of godly wife Sarah Edwards and her impact on generations after her) to be reminded of what low-maintenance wives can do for their family, community, nation, and world. I humbly encourage you to do the same.

(Article found on www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com)

Kindred SpiritsA ministry of Kindred Spirits Journal & www.biblicalwomanhood.org
...teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Titus 2:4,5